Day 3- too many pronouns

So, I've been working for Metlife for about 3 weeks and getting used to things. I'm pretty quiet because I have nothing relevant to say to the typical convos that go on. This might be seen as smug, but it's really not my intention. Plus, they're actually okay, sometimes cheesy but my bosses despite being very stressed, are very friendly and understanding. Hence, the week off.

On Friday, I had my tonsillectomy which has been pretty painful. I can't eat actual ice cream so that sucks and Jenn brought me some Ralph's italian ice's which I've barely been able to enjoy because even that hurts to swallow. I usually take my pain medication and wait about a half hour to eat because it helps ease the eating process. My meals have consisted of jell-o, mashed potatoes, mashed squash and scrambled eggs. It takes me about 30 minutes to actually eat and then I'm pretty sleepy from the medication. I was taking these pills called hydro-apap which weren't helping so I switched to the liquid codeine which is now making me have these crazy, crazy, dreams.

On Saturday night I dreamt I was with my cousins and a friend of my cousin's in this white van. We were supposedly baking out the car and then my dad popped out of no where. Why we were smoking at the train station and in this white van..I don't know. Anywho, next thing I know my dad is laughing at us and walks away but then my aunt comes out of nowhere and asks us what we're doing and she sniffs the car and says "oohhmyygoodnissss" and my dad comes back with a chancleta (sandal) in hand and starts beating me. Bizzare? A wee bit.

Then, last night, I dreamt I was back in the classroom student teaching on my last day except the classroom looked a lot like my old high school classroom. Well, I think this was triggered by the fact that I was looking at grad schools last night. Anywho, so, I was in the classroom and suddenly this rat comes out from underneath the heater and starts jumping at me like a dog and is trying to sit on my lap. In the dream, (which starts in the May/spring setting) I started screaming and running down the hall sort of the way my host teacher did when she saw the dead mice in our room. Then, I saw my first host teacher and she starts asking me what I had learned from her and what lesson I intended on using for halloween (Idk..time travel?) and I really wish I remembered the specifics but I explained it all confidently and she was said, "wow, I'd love to use that lesson..do you mind?" and I was replied with "guuurrl pleaseee- my lesson is your lesson!" Following this crazy dream, I woke up at 8:08 realizing I had actually slept through my time of needing to take my dose of medication. I was so out of it that I slept for another hour and a half and finally took something at 10. Now, I'm probably going to pass out again because I feel the medication kicking in (aka...I'm getting sleepy).

The rollercoaster called life.

Last week was a better week. I wish I could've written about it when I was in higher spirits, but alas I was lazy and "busy"...nope, just lazy. I saw Stephen Colberto who I love dearly and he even named my cousin his token "Ecuadorian" friend. I also landed a job, and of course saw my jolly old chum Joey who I always enjoy spending small amounts of time with. 

Today, I started that job. I woke up with my continuously swelling eye and felt some sense of hope. That all went downhill after 12:30 p.m. Basically, I stack, tab, and organize home loan applications and insurance apps for MetLife. Eventually, you have to do some data-entry with all this information. It's very mundane, but it pays. The girl who was training me was pretty patient considering how slow I was but the people there for the most part aren't especially welcoming. It's probably a mix between their abundance of work, and my shy tendencies. 

I was also surprised to find out that my grandmother passed away this afternoon. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised since she was 99 but last I had heard (which was last week) she was fine. Slightly senile, but fine. Of course, everyone always finds it necessary to justify someone's death, especially when it comes to older people. "They've lived a long life." It doesn't mean they lived a good or happy life. And it certainly doesn't make me feel better about my grandmother dying. It doesn't help that I am horrible at dealing with death or any sort of emotional situation. I like being alone when dealing with death. Some people like being with others, but I feel strange. Everyone is crying and I can't. It's not that I don't feel sad, because I obviously do but I guess my crying cues are off from everyone else's. The most painful part right now is to watch my dad deal with this. He is the absolute worst when it comes with displaying emotions aside from happiness and anger. Man, I still remember her always telling me these crazy stories about her own childhood but I can't even remember what her favorite anything was except for this one bolero called Mil Violines. :sigh: I'm drained and tired but I doubt I'll sleep.

fail.

Yo' so broke that you had to ask yo mama money so you could make it to an interview.

Yo' mama is so broke she can't even lend you money to get into the city for an interview tomorrow. OOoooOOOooooo.     

So yeah, I'm just going to start writing and hope that someone hires me through some means of luck, sympathy or interest in my awesome skills. 

Oh hey, it's me (meeeeee)

It's been years!!! Let's see, what am I doing, where have I been....ah, yeah, nothing and nowhere. About a month ago, I fulfilled all requirements for my undergrad programs and I am now impatiently waiting for my degree to arrive to my house (which is going to take about another two months probably). When I came home a couple of weeks ago (four- which feels like 12 right now), I was filled with hope and all sorts of optimism in finding a job and finding a sense of inner peace and all those dreams I guess most people in their 20's have. Well, I haven't. Actually, I haven't been doing much of anything. I've sent out numerous résumés, and e-mails to companies and potential bosses which have led to nothing but an increased chance of possibly being stalked or becoming a victim of identity theft. 

All of this has had a domino effect on my life. My spirits are in the gutter, and I have been so wrapped up in mild depression and self-pity that I don't think about the things that I could be doing in this situation to enjoy myself or make myself a better person. I haven't touched my guitar since the first week I got back. I bought a book from B&N and haven't touched it since the first day I bought it. 

So, what to do now? Sell my iPod? Check. Write a book, sell enough copies to live comfortably and travel the world. Yep. It's nice to dream.